Nice Job if You Can Get It!

I have been back from my trip now for over a week and time seems to be flying by.  Probably because I am going to go home soon for a very long visit!!  About 6 weeks.  I am super excited about it!  Although I must say that I am a little bummed that I am going to miss the upcoming 10 mile race.  Ten miles is my favorite race distance.  It's far enough that you really feel like you did something, but not quite so far as a half where you feel like you need to keep something in reserve.  There aren't a lot of ten mile races around.  Oh well, there will be another one coming up in January.  In the meantime I have a half marathon scheduled in December.

A few days after we came back we had 5 mile race scheduled.  It was a predictor race because we had to predict our finishing time.  I had previously finished a 5 mile practice run in 48:36 at a pace of 9:38 per mile, so I gave myself a prediction time of 44:59 figuring that I could surely shave 3 minutes off that time with race conditions.  

Long story short, race day came and despite the fact that the compound we were racing at was fairly close we ended up getting quite lost and no amount of phone calls seemed to help.  Since women are not allowed to drive here, I really didn't feel all that responsible for getting us "lost." Shockingly, we actually did end up making it to the race, but only after it had already started.  I decided that it was better late than never and I stashed my stuff, did a quick bathroom trip and took off from the starting point.  I looked at one of the timers and said, "Evidently I am late."  To which he replied, "Yes you are, very late!" 

As I started to run I felt... well, a bit pissed! (that's "American" angry... not "British" drunk) Also, I was a good 4+ minutes behind and so I felt a need to catch up.  And indeed, I did start to catch up! First I passed some walkers.  Then I passed some people wearing knee braces.  Eventually I started passing up people who were just running.  Then I lapped my husband. (Ha ha... but I was still mad!) I think that might have made me speed up a bit there.  Eventually I ended up finishing with a respectable spot.  (I never did catch Tiffany... Well done!) When I checked my Nike+ for my time, I ended up finishing at about a 42:30 for a 5 mile race.  It said my pace was 8:39!  I could not believe it! I really never thought I would run anywhere in the 8's much less for 5 miles.  GO ME!!!!

This is my, "I'm still pissed off at you but I freaking rocked this one" smile.  

And, in the spirit of doing things that I never thought I would do, I have decided to go ahead and give the marathon a whirl.  We have one coming up in February.  I have just enough time to train for it.  Also, its already paid for... so may as well!  The only problem is that since it will be here, there is a very real possibility that I could very well come in last place.  But again, that is another worry for another day!

Moving on to other things.  One of the things that I love about living here is that there is just so much time to do whatever.  People often ask, well what do you do all day?  And truthfully, I do whatever tickles my fancy.  I run, I bake, I go shopping, I swim, I go to the gym, I watch movies on DVD, I blog.  You get the picture.  I do whatever strikes me as interesting at the moment.  

I'm not sure if I have mentioned it before, but everyone here seems to have a business card.  When you meet new people and make "connections," you exchange cards.  I have been asked on occasion where my "card" is, and of course, I haven't got one.  (At this point they tend to look at me with confusion.) So after much thinking about it I decided to make myself some business cards.  I figure that if I start passing these out, people will start to think that I am a bit of a loose cannon and may stop being so eager to try and find me employment. 

So here is what should probably be my current card:

 I am very good at this.  I am sure that my husband and friends here would all be excellent references for me.  I was going to say that I was a "Professional Job Avoider" but I really think that the card implies the "professional" don't you think?

Now this is not to say that I wouldn't take employment if it was something that I found to be very interesting.  Perhaps I could be a business card designer.  Clearly my work speaks for itself!  Anyway, I  do see a niche that I just may need to fix, if only I can get my hands on a bedazzler from back in the 80's.  Folks back home, please be on the lookout for one for me!  There is always ebay I suppose.

 But, until I get my hands on a bedazzler, this one will have to wait.  In the meantime, I have just come across a job that I think that I would be very good at but it just needs a touch of explanation first.

The other day we arranged a driver and went to lunch at a noodle house.  (When I say "we" arranged a driver, I mean Crystal did it.  That girl really gets things done!) Anyway, we went to lunch and on the way back she wanted to stop at Toys R Us.  I was asked if I wanted to go in since I don't have young children at home and didn't need to buy anything.  "Um, hello! It's Toys R Us! Of course I want to go in!!"  So in I went.

It started off very well and only got better.  Remember the "Slinky?"

"Slinky, Slinky a wonderful wonderful toy.  Slinky Slinky its fun for a girl or a boy!"

 Here I guess it's just called, "Metal Spring."  Which of course, is all that it actually is.  But it is made of "Real Metal!" And it is of course, "Super Action," and it "Does Tricks."  So it must be just like the real Slinky.  My sister and I had one when we were little.  That and a wooden board just entertained us for hours.  I remember this one time that Slinky got away from us on the stairs and we had to chase after it... good times. Slinky ... Come back!!!

Tiffany came across this game and she said, "Oh I just love Cluedo, do you guys have that?"  To which I replied, "Yes, but we just call it "Clue."  So now I am really not sure about anything anymore.  Maybe "Cluedo" is more fun than "Clue."  I will have to play and find out.

Anyway, the best part came when we came across the water toys.  This is where I discovered a job that I think I would be very good at.  Here is my business card:

Now, I know, you are thinking, Danielle.... What on Earth is a Woman Colorer Inner? Well it is an actual job.  Someone has to do it.  Apparently, when Saudi Arabia gets products in that have "overexposed" women advertised on the packaging, someone needs to cover them up and they do this by coloring over them.  Now, I realize this is a bit hard to believe for some of you so of course I took the pictures to prove it.  And here they are:

 I enlarged these so you can see more clearly.  Now if you look at the woman in the white shirt, apparently arms are OK, just not legs. The woman in the pink shirt must have an offensive face because someone felt the need to block it all out.  Notice, that someone else must have really wanted to see her because they have tried to scratch away the black on the face.

These were just colored over.  No real finesse to it.  I could do so much better!  Really I could!

 Now whoever colored these at least put a little more effort into it.  I love the top one. "Hey? Where did mom go?"

 If mom forgot to wear her burkini, well, you just color one on for her. Problem solved.

This one is my favorite.  The mom on the left looks completely bowlegged and the mom on the right looks like a black ghost carrying a black bone.  (Still not sure what that is...)

So, basically, I am off to the US for 6 weeks, but while I am gone, if anyone hears of a job opening up for a woman colorer inner... hook me up!!